And In Darkness Bind Them
by Reija Linn
Summary: I guess the title say it all. How the rat turned to the Dark Side.


Title: And in Darkness Bind Them  
Author: Reija Linn (T'Reija)  
Email/Feedback: theganan@gmx.de or thiari@theganan.de  
Archive: Azkaban's Lair, ff-net. Others please ask beforehand and leave the full header intact.  
Originally posted: hpslash list  
  
Pairing: Peter/James, Peter/?, minor Sirius/Remus  
Rating: [PG-15]  
Summary: Sick. Disturbing. Features Peter naked. *clears throat* I guess the title say it all. How the rat turned to the Dark Side.  
Spoilers: Haven't read the books? Do so. Right away. Do not eat, sleep or pause until you're finished. Then come back.  
Warnings: male/male sexuality and/or relationship(s) featured within. Don't like, don't read, don't flame. Simple really, though seemingly not simple enough for some dim witted clots out there.  
  
Legal disclaimer: I never have, nor ever will, owned the rights to the setting of the Harry Potter books or the characters featured within. The use of said settings and characters by me is for non-commercial purposes only and does not mean to infringe upon the given legal rights that belong to Ms. J.K.Rowling and those she has associated them with.  
  
A note on the rating: I know this isn't a usual rating, and I know it's not really used (don't even know if it exists at all), but I decided I was comfortable with anyone 15 or older reading this, especially since the boys are fifteen in this story and I don't usually write anything between 15-year-olds I don't believe they do and can do in real life, so there's that.  
  
Other notes: Title is obviously stolen from Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.  
  
  
AND IN DARKNESS BIND THEM  
By T'Reija (December 2001)  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, December 9th, 1975  
  
I can't believe my luck! Dear Diary, you know I've loved James ever since I've known what love is, and yesterday I told him... I thought he'd laugh at me, but I simply couldn't go on as before, being but a friend, it hurt every day to act as if I didn't care that much...  
  
Remus told me I should admit it to him, take my chances, and gosh, was I afraid, but when I told him I saw more than just a friend in him, and actually apologised for feeling this way, he turned to me and told me he thought he liked that, and we should give it a try. And then he kissed me!  
  
Oh, sweet Aphrodite, I think I'm the happiest person in the whole world today!!!  
  
***  
  
Sirius and Remus sat in the library together, supposedly studying Charms, and whispering to each other, much to the annoyance of Madam Pince, the librarian. But since they were the only ones in the library at the moment, she let it pass. She had long given up on the notorious quartet of Gryffindor fifth years, and at least, they were whispering.  
  
"Peter and James?" Sirius asked, surprise evident in his eyes. "I can see Peter - he's never shown much interest in girls... but James? I thought he had it for that Ravenclaw Prefect... what's her name again... Evans?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but she's never shown much interest in him, right? And she went to last year's school disco with Rod Barkley, right? And I for one think Peter really needs someone, so why not James, when they appear to like each other that way?"  
  
Sirius grinned at the image of his two friends as lovers. He still wasn't quite sure whether Remus was making this up, but then, Remus hardly ever made things up towards his friends, though he *had* started the infamous rumour about Severus Snape's ladies' knickers... that picture still made him smile all through particularly nasty and boring History lessons... it had even been worth the beating he'd received from Snape, who, of course, thought it was *him* who had played the prank...  
  
"Wow... guess it's just the two of us then, for a while - you know how lovers are, always clinging to each other, smiling sickeningly, and calling each other absolutely horrible names like 'sweetheart' or 'birdie' or 'honey' - yuk!"  
  
Remus smiled at this. Sirius was a great friend, and he could even imagine feeling more for him someday, but when it came to dating, despite all his alleged affairs with girls (which, as a matter of fact, were mostly overrated), he was still a little immature.  
  
***  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, January 13th, 1976  
  
Dear Diary - I finally made the transformation today (gosh, I hope no one ever finds this diary, but up to now I've always managed to remember to lock it away...). He, Wormtail it is, then - I like my form, it's nice and small, and perfect for all kinds of things - like sneaking into the Slytherin dungeon... I still want to see if Snape really has women's underwear or if Remus is pulling my leg.  
  
Of course, I never would have made it without James' help - Lords, a stag, how fitting for him... he's so noble and proud and handsome, how could I *not* love him?!  
  
We still haven't moved beyond kissing, though - I'd like to, but he told me he wasn't ready for that, yet. Well, it doesn't matter - I can wait. Still think I'm the luckiest boy at Hogwarts!  
  
***  
  
Late at night, in the Gryffindor common room, two boys sat on a bed behind drawn curtains.  
  
"Sirius, I just don't know what to do... Wormy says he loves me, and I really like him, and I enjoy being with him, kissing, things like that, but I'm just not sure about the other..."  
  
Sirius tried not to snicker at this - after all, this way serious business for James. "Well... do you, you know... well... do you feel like... I mean... has the thought crossed your mind at all?"  
  
"Um..." James actually blushed at this, and since it was winter, he had no tan to hide it - besides, his ears always were a dead giveaway, which was possibly the only reason he liked his wild growing hair - it managed to hide this, sometimes. Not today, though. "Yes? I mean, I find him attractive, or I wouldn't be with him, right? He's small, but he's strong, and I happen to like blue eyes and reddish hair... and yeah, alright, it turns me on when he touches me... but it's such a big step, and before Peter, I never even imagined I could do anything like that with a chap..."  
  
James trailed off, searching for support in his best friend's eyes.  
  
"Perhaps you should just take it slowly? I mean, he hasn't pestered you about it or anything, has he?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"There, then. Bollocks, I'm not good at things like this, but I guess Remus would advise you to take your time and let it happen naturally, and Remus always gives pretty good advice, I think - better than mine, at any rate."  
  
James grinned, a smile that spread to his eyes which twinkled behind his round spectacles. "Guess you're right. Darn, but this is hell... I can't seem to talk about this with Wormtail, and I know he's a little disappointed we haven't moved further yet, though he tries to hide it..."  
  
***  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, April, 1976  
  
We did it, yesterday! It was a full moon's night, and for some reason, Moony and Padfoot asked us to stay behind, so we had the dorm to ourselves...  
  
We've been sleeping in a bed together every now and then before, since our only roommates are Sirius and Remus and they wouldn't tell, but nothing more than a few kisses ever happened... and since I knew James was a little reluctant to do more than that, I thought I'd wait until he initiated it...  
  
And yesterday, he did!  
  
I'm in seventh heaven right now, dear diary, can you tell?  
  
Well, it started out as always, I asked if I could spend the night in his bed, and Prongs said he'd like that, and I was perfectly content with sharing a couple of kisses and falling asleep in his arms, as usual... but he started to touch me, and I touched him back, and of course I got a hard-on, and then he touched me *there*, and...  
  
Gave the first blow-job of my life, last night, and though it was a little awkward at first - I almost gagged once or twice - it was wonderful, too. I love to give James pleasure, and when he stroked me to orgasm later, I couldn't have been more satisfied (okay, I'd like him to do more to me, I'd let him fuck me with no problem, but I guess that can wait, too...)  
  
Of course, we both couldn't remember a good clean-up spell the next morning, so we had to sneak into the showers red-faced and wash the sheets out by hand (hope no one noticed - I wouldn't mind them knowing about James and me, but I'm not sixteen until October, and I reckon the headmaster wouldn't like a 16 and a 15 year old making out in his school...)  
  
Oh, blessed spirits, I'm so happy!  
  
***  
  
"So, how was it?" Sirius' eyes almost boggled when James had told him about his encounter with Peter. He'd recently discovered he actually wanted more from Remus than just friendship, and thought that perhaps Remus returned this feeling, but he couldn't quite imagine what two guys actually *did* with each other.  
  
James grinned, still blushing a little (he'd turned into something strongly resembling a tomato while describing how Peter had gone down on him). "Aw, come off it, Sir, you perv. I've told you about it, and of course I enjoyed it - it was great - but you're not getting anything more out of me."  
  
"So... do you love him?"  
  
James turned serious at once. "Duh. I'm just not sure. I mean, I like being with him, but I don't know whether I want to spend my life with him, if that's what you mean..."  
  
"Well, I'd be careful, Jamie... 'cause I think that's pretty much what Wormtail wants, from what Remus told me..."  
  
James merely sighed at this.  
  
***  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, June 15th, 1976  
  
Argh, I don't like this. I don't like this *at all*.  
  
Dear Diary, I asked James if we could spend some of the summer holidays together (Sirius and Remus are staying at Padfoot's place for half of the hols, and with Remus parents during the other - when it's time for the full moon).  
  
And he said *NO*.  
  
Of course, he explained. He's going to that summer Quidditch camp in Wales for three weeks, and has to visit his grandma in the high north for the other two, since she's celebrating her seventieth birthday and her Golden Anniversary with James' granddad in one, and he can hardly introduce me as his boyfriend to his gramps...  
  
And of course, I can understand his reasoning, and I guess I'll survive the hol's at my father's place, though he's a penny-turning bastard (not that he doesn't *have* the money, mind you)...  
  
But what really disturbs me is that Lily Evans, that Ravenclaw seeker James was infatuated with last year, is going to that camp, too! And he actually tried to keep it from me, I only know because I overheard her telling a friend in the library (not that I'd been eavesdropping!)  
  
Bollocks, he's spending too much time with that girl as it is, with all those Gryffindor/Ravenclaw training games they're having at the moment.  
  
Remus tells me not to worry too much, that if James really loves me he won't even think about anyone else - problem is, I'm not sure he *does* love me back...  
  
God, *please* make him not fall for her...  
  
***  
  
The flames in the fireplace crackled softly as they outlined the worried face of James Potter, who was using these means to talk to his best friend Sirius during the summer holidays.  
  
"I just don't know how to tell him. He... I think he really loves me, and I don't want to make him unhappy... but I can't go on with this relationship, since..."  
  
***  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, September 3rd, 1976  
  
I'll kill him - better, I'll kill myself!  
  
How can he do this to me?  
  
He has to know I love him?!  
  
And where was all of that bloody 'I prefer girls' shit when I went down on him? When we kissed?  
  
Dear Diary, I'm too tired to write... I just want to sleep... and never see this fucking prick again, ever!!!  
  
And Sirius and Remus... dammit, I thought they were *my* friends, too, and they knew about this all along, and didn't even bother to tell me!  
  
I hate them... all of them...  
  
***  
  
"What's the matter with your friend, love? The other two seem to be so happy for you, but Peter keeps staring at me as if I were a Medusa."  
  
James sighed, and set about to tell his new girlfriend Lily about his affair with Peter.  
  
None of them noticed they weren't alone in the library, none of them saw the shadow behind a nearby bookshelf...  
  
***  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, September 30th, 1976  
  
I pretend I don't care now. It's easier than facing the pain. James and the others think I'm all right - I may not be good at Transfiguration or Charms, or Potions, but I'm a good actor, and none of them suspects a thing.  
  
Let's just see about who laughs last, in this game...  
  
***  
  
Two months had passed since James had ended his relationship with Peter, when Lucius Malfoy made his first step. He had his own revenge to plot - what cheek of Severus to turn *him*, Lucius Malfoy, down, and for that little Gryffindor Remus, nonetheless (although he was going out with that stupid, pompous friend of his...)  
  
***  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, November 13th, 1976  
  
Lucius and I kissed today, behind the broom shed. He's not James, and I don't love him, but I won't give Prongs the satisfaction of showing him how much I hurt!  
  
***  
  
Lucius grinned at the simplicity of it all. How trusting that fool Peter was! And to leave his diary lying around, guarded by only a simple locking spell...  
  
So, Remus Lupin, his rival for Severus' affections, was a werewolf? Well, there had to be a way to use that to his advantage...  
  
***  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, December 1976  
  
I gave Sirius the potion today... Lucius said it's foul proof...  
  
I'm still feeling a little bad about tricking my friends like this, but after all, they're not really my friends anymore, I just pretend they are...  
  
I don't have the guts to hurt James, I love him too much for that, even now, after what he's done, but Sirius and Remus... they knew, and they didn't tell me, didn't warn me, didn't do anything to knock some sense into Prongs...  
  
No, they deserve it...  
  
***  
  
Severus Snape stormed into the Gryffindor common room behind a stumbling first year, who he almost ran over.  
  
"Black! Where's Lupin, I have to talk to him! Lucius told me... well, never mind, where is he?! And how do I get to him?"  
  
Sirius shook his head as if to shake something off.  
  
"In the Shrieking Shack... use the entry at the Whomping Willow..."  
  
He shook his head again, but Severus had stormed off again too quickly to notice.  
  
James, however, was not as stunned as his friend. "You prick! Why on Earth did you tell him that?"  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
But James, too, had already left the room, running to prevent the horrible things that would happen if Snape ran into Remus *now*...  
  
***  
  
Peter Pettigrew's diary, Hogwart's, December 1976  
  
Lords, what have I done? Dear Diary, I never wanted this! I almost killed someone... Giving Sirius that truth potion... opening the passage for Snape in my rat form...  
  
But at least James prevented that, and I still got my revenge... Remus won't even talk to Sirius, and neither will James...  
  
Dear Diary, am I really doing this to people I've called friends for five years? I almost got James killed, too, and I love him!  
  
But Lucius tells me it's too late to go back now, and I know he's right...  
  
***  
  
"My Lord... I think your new servant is ready now..."  
  
THE END 


End file.
